Instead of B.S. ~ C.S.

OMGoshhhhh!!!

Went to a friends house tonight. *waves at Jen* We were suppose to do some business card designing/ordering but we kinda sorta got sidetracked.

Together we have 6 kids. 5 of whom were there being all crazified and nutzoidal. BOY#1 decided to stay home, 1. because he would have been bored shitless. 2. He had to get ready for work at 8p.m.

We were all enjoying ourselves thinking we had all the time in the world, when my phone rang.

It's BOY#1.

BOY#1: Mom, I'm at Wal-Mart and my car won't start. I think it's out of gas.
   ~Now to give you a little inside info so you can get the full effect. YESTERDAY we let him borrow $20
      for gas and food for his dinner break. YESTERDAY!!!!!!
ME: WHAT?!? Your Dad just gave you money YESTERDAY!!!!! Why didn't you put gas in it?!?!
BOY#1: I had enough!!!
ME: Really?!? Obviously you didn't!
BOY#1: Come on Mom, don't yell at me.
ME: *sighss* I will call your...
BOY#1: NO!!! Don't call Dad, just get the gas can and put in $5 and bring it to me and I'll pay you back.
ME: Fine. You need to take more responsibility.

Click.  Me, not him.

I called BIGDADDY, who was at work. After telling me fifty gajillion times NOT to let the gas can tip over and spill in the trunk of his car, we hung up. Yeah, he wasn't too thrilled either.

My friend, THEGIRL and I head home, get the gas can, go to the gas station, put $4 in, take it to Wal-Mart, find the GREENBEAST and BOY#1, deliver the gas, wait there to see if it'll start.....No. It wont.  Good news, he paid me $5! I think $1 for my troubles is a good price ;)

Now, he needs a ride to work.

We leave the car there. In the Wal-Mart parking lot. It looked at home there if I do say so myself. As I type this it is already sitting in my driveway. BIGDADDY to the rescue.

After dropping him off, we are driving home and we drive by the courthouse and my friend says "LOOK AT ALL THOSE BIRDS!!! HOLY COW!!!!"

There are about 1,000 crows in EVERY single tree on the courthouse grounds. It looked like a scene straight out of Alfred Hitchcocks 'The Birds'. Seriously, THAT freaky!!! We are still across the street kinda scared to get any closer for fear of scaring them away or shitting all over us. THEGIRL decides she's gonna step out of the car (the streets were deserted, snowstorm) and take a picture or two.

This is that picture.

Yeah, you pretty much can't see shit (for future reference....no pun intended).

Then we decide we are gonna drive next to it and honk and honk and honk and scare them away. I will tell you what, those crows were NOT scared of anything.

We were right in front of the courthouse and it was better lighting/position of the trees for a clearer picture. So, THEGIRL is in the backseat and rolls the window down and puts the camera and her hands slighly out of the opening to get another picture.

This is it...

*sighss*

She's getting ready to show me the pictures and she FREAKS OUT!!!!

There is bird poop on the top of her hand and on the sleeve of her coat!!!!!!! Jen and I are rolling!! THEGIRL is going nuts...'TAKE ME HOME!' 'MOM, DO YOU HAVE A WIPE?!' 'OMG, I'M GOING TO CRY!!!' 'I CAN'T DO THIS. I'M FREAKING OUT!!!' 'STOP AT THIS RESTAURANT SO I CAN GO IN THE BATHROOM AND CLEAN UP!'

I have to stop the car in the middle of the street we are laughing so hard and I'm getting her a wipe, when I look back to hand it to her she has a small teensy tiny speck of bird poop on her cheek! OMGGGGG!!!!

I then realize that when we stopped the 2nd time I felt something wet kinda like 'splash' on my face. To my horror  I realize WHAT that 'wet' thing could be. I look in the rearview mirror and I see nothing. Thank God. I could have seriously thrown up. It was and is so much funnier when it's someone else. Right???

She screams 'GET IT OFF, NOW MOM!!!'  She is gagging. Jen and I are laughing. I am cleaning her face off, and she is wondering how she's gonna get her coat off without getting it 'all over her'. 

All this C.S. (crowshit) for not one good picture. So. Ignorant. There is a plus though....

We ALL have not had this much fun in a looooong time!!!! 

And there wasn't even alcohol involved....

Ohhhh My Gosh Again!!!!
  ~I am adding this little diddy the next day.~
BIGDADDY, THEGIRL, BOY#2 and I are heading out to the car to get groceries today. BIGDADDY'S car is shit bombed. It is disgusting!!! Where I thought the wet like something 'splashed' my face...there is bird dung right on the top of the door jamb!!! O M G!!!!!!
But, the most horriblest thing. There. Is. Crowshit. In. The. Car. On. The. Upholstered. Seat!!!!!
I freakin' kid you not!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I will NOT be driving his car for a while. I'm grounded.