I am going to go on a rant. I'm sorry but it can't be helped. I'm sick of all the 'better than thou' bullshit!
There has been several things that I have seen fellow Mom's say that really irritates the shit out of me. I canNOT for the life of me figure out why another mom, someone who is in this for the exact same goals...our children, someone who is the same sex as us, someone that you would think has more in common with all of us other mothers out there, would want to be shitty to each other.
I do NOT get why it is becoming socially (and when I say socially, I mean the internet ie. blogs, facebook, chat sites and mommy pages) 'okay' to put others down. I wonder what in the hell made you think that you are better or that your thoughts on childrearing, feeding, mothering, or just all around who you are, are better. I just don't get it.
There are SO many of us out there that choose to raise our kids in a different way, some are the same as you. Some are completely different. That is what makes us unique individuals. That does NOT make your way 'right' nor does it make my way 'right'.
There are people who eat meat or people who don't, there are the Moms who puree their own baby food or who buy it in the little jar, there are the swaddlers, there are the cohabitators, there are the breastfeeders, there are the lay on the belly to sleep moms, there are those who firmly believe putting the baby in their own crib/bassinet from day one, there are back to sleep only, there are bottle feeders that pump, there are formula feeders from day 1, there are those who choose disposable diapers, there are those who only wash their babies clothes in Dreft, there are cloth diapers, there are ones who don't believe in pacifiers, there are those who don't believe in ANY diapers.
I could freaking go on and on and on and on.
We are all different, but yet in some ways we are the same. We all may not 'believe' in what others do and there are some of us that think it would be wonderful to do what others do but we are too chicken shit to even consider it. There are some of us who are completely happy with how we raise our kids, of course there is always those days where we are not on top of our game as we should be. But, the next day we make up for it. When we have children it is OUR choice to raise our kids however we want! Granted, we follow the laws and we are not psycho parents. But you get my drift! Let us be. As we will let you be. Unless someone outright puts down your parenting/mothering/wife skills then keep your damn mouth shut. Do NOT try to force the way YOU think everyone in the free world should raise their kids. Do NOT shove your bullshit holier than thou thoughts on me. Do NOT try to make ME feel badly in your non-chalant accusing Facebook posts. Get a grip. YOU run your household the way you see fit and I will run mine the way I see fit. We are BOTH doing it right. If we are both in it to win it. If we are both doing it for the good of our husbands and children then there is NO wrong way. There is only OUR WAY.
Remember ladies. We are in this together. We want our babies to grow up to be fine members of society. We all want them healthy, smart, and joyous. We all want the same thing for our kids! In the long run our goals are pretty much the same, so WHY is getting there such a damn debate?!?!
Peace.
You keep doing what you're doing and don't worry about them...there's just too much mean in this world as it is. Something in the air today though - it' been a mean kind of day.
ReplyDeleteYou are a great mom and a great friens. Peace and love girl. xo
What DG said. Also, I never take personally anyone's bullshit opinions unless they attach my name to them. I just consider them the psychotic ramblings of an egomaniac. *shudder*
ReplyDeletePreach it. Is it because motherhood is such a life changing event that people feel the need to judge and give unsolicited advice from the moment the HPT says +? You couldn't have said it better. We are all in this together. What's right for my family may not be what is right for yours and dammit that is okay!
ReplyDeleteRight on!
ReplyDeleteI bet they are all white parents. Kidding aside, I feel ya lady. I can't stand all the mommy wars on the interwebs. So annoying.
ReplyDeleteIt is so easy to people to criticize others, if we were all the same just think what a boring place it would be. People just need to learn to keep their mouths shut. We all do what we believe is right for our own family.
ReplyDeleteGet em sister! (Dawn)
ReplyDeleteYa know Steph, its very coincidental that I read this right now. I have to say, tonight, I took Joe for the track meeting. Now, keep in mind that I didnt know that a form sent home to order tshirts and sweatshirts, was actually the sign up sheet for track. So, I hear that there is a mandatory meeting tonight for track. So, I go, not knowing that we should have already been signed up. Anyway, so I ask the coach if it is too late now for Joe to sign up, he says well, he does have a broken arm(having fractured his right ulner bone in PE last Fri). I called the Dr and he did say that it would be ok for Joe to run. So I let the coach know this. He says, well, they would have to ck with IHSA, yada yada. But does proceed to say that he could be a mgr. I said, thats fair enough, I think this would be great for him. He replies, I do too. So, the meeting begins and after its over, I say, so, are we gonna be in touch bout him being a mgr. I explain to him that I was not aware that the order form for tshirts\sweatshirts were a sign up for track. Call me an idiot, IDK, but just had no clue. So, he says, well, you will need to fill that out, we will get with IHSA and ill get bk to you. Anyway, I guess I was just a lil annoyed, due to the fact, he had just said 20 min prior that he could be a mgr. But..... on with the school shit and people thinking that they are so much better than you, as I was driving home, I seriously thought to myself, why is it that everyone thinks that they are so much better than I??? I know I shouldnt let it bother me but it does, and some people make it so dam obvious, its just plain nauseating. I guess my thought is, what the hell have I done to you and what do you know bout me???? Absolutely NOTHING!!! SO, GOOD FOR YOU, ARENT YOU SPECIAL!! Every school event I go to, I feel that way and it just really pisses me off!!! Ill quit rambling now, but I am just sick of the bullshit and I totally agree with every word you said, because IT IS SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWell put Stephanie!!! I have been brainstorming this exact topic for my blog for about 2 months now. I haven't posted yet because all my drafts end up being too emotional. But I think you said it wonderfully. I am so tired of seeing people attack each other, especially over motherhood. And, like you said, not everyone knows everyone else's history, even less-so when it is a stranger attacking a stranger; when I see that I have to walk away from my computer lest I throw something through my monitor. Thank you for putting this into words!
ReplyDeletePREACH!
ReplyDeleteFirst blog ive ever read by lil mama and i think i might have to come back for some more diggin it .And yes before I met my wonderful husband i was a SINGLE mom and the horrific stories i could tell you of how i was judged for fricken everything by so called "supportive freinds" JEESH! So i finally told a majority of them to fuck off and now I have cool supportive awesome moms in my life. I still feel "mom guilt" but at least now its all coming from my own head lol. Ciao!
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